| Master cleanse: Day 1 EASE IN |
[Apr. 13th, 2009|10:27 am] |
So I am beginning the master cleanse today. Today is day 1, ease in, which means that I can only eat whole foods, not precessed, to prepare my body for the cleanse and lemonade diet.
I really don't know if I can do this. But I am going to try. I am in my finals at school right now, so I am a little worried about my concentration levels. But I am really going to try. And if I fail, I will just try again. I really want to do this for a number of reasons.
The first is that lately I have been feeling really nauseous a lot, plus I have been having headaches too. So I did a pregnancy test which came out negative, so I figured it must just be my stomach. The other options didn't seem plausible, like brain tumors, cancer ect.
Plus, I drink A LOT of coffee which I have been cutting down on. I have been having a cup a day for the past 4-5 days...
Anyhow, this cleanse is really going to challenge some habits of mine, such drinking coffee, drinking alcohol, smoking, eating!
All the better reason to this then, I figure.
Later |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2008|08:19 pm] |
sooooooooooooooooooo,
i fail.
drank, ate, was merry,
now fat.
Did not want to vomitate,
because its gross.
Alcohol,is a bit of a problem area for me.
esp. since i drink a lot, and i like beer.
i dont even want to say what i ate yest. and today...
today wasnt as bad.
today:
i had a salad mix. 340
tuna sand. 400
soup bread butter 300
ya........
school, exams,
being hungover makes me want to eat more than usual...
aight.
thats it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2008|08:19 pm] |
sooo,
apparently according to this calculator,
i need to eat 944 cals a day.
today i consumed:
1 coffee black
whole bag of jubjubes (:0) (260 cals)
cream of carrot & sweet potato soup (coconut milk not cream, that i made): like 200 cals?
couscous: 90 cals?
hot sauce: 20
chickpeas: 100?
and im making a new soup,
that i will prob. have a bowl of later like 100 cals
its based on the cabbage soup diet recipe...
so thats prob, around 900 rounding up.
its never low enough,
but that is the best i can do,
knowing myself.
its a little depressing.
I guess i have a shitty will.
im sooo impatient. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 30th, 2008|02:13 pm] |
so ya my weight normalised since yesterday
i'm 114-113
i have about 30 days to lose about 10 pounds
is that possible?
im going to Cuba so i want to look good especially since im going with a girl who is skinny.
I wonder, are more people around me weight conscious that i realise?
i feel like everyone is thinner than me.
Day by day i guess.
Im kind of impatient and want to be insta-thinner.
SO apparently my ideal weight is 105. So this is what im going for within the next month.
I feel like i just woke up from a slumber.
I can't believe i only now, decided to take action with m weight.
I let myself go, i never thought this would happen.
anyhow, on and onwards. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 30th, 2008|12:19 am] |
i think i need a new scale
the one i bought cost like 15$ and it sucks it is so inaccurate.
how could i go from 113 to 119 in 1 day, thats impossible.
right?
so, ya i went to a catered family function.
'nuff said...
tomorrow's another day. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 29th, 2008|12:00 pm] |
sooooooo,
today is a very good day.
my scale has been in the 120 zone for far too long, like a year?
and todayyyyy, i weighed myself and im below 115 (my scale really sucks and is not very detailed so everything is approximate. but im def below 115, like 112-113.
This is soooo fucking cool.
I mean all semester ive been self conscious. tryitng to watch what i eat but always failing.
always caving, always finding an excuse, im tired, im hungover, im hungry, just one, ill be better tomorow. and i may have lost one, but i always got it back.
And then, i tried to get back in the groove. Its always a challenge for me to find the beat again.
and i feel like this success is making me more confident. Because im being pretty healthy.
yes i do purge every once and a while. Something i really need to not do.
But otherwise, im eating a lot of veg. and stuff. I making a lot of soups.
Soups are the best. really. plus green tea all day.
yesterday i had two pieces of pizza though. but purged, gross. (bad me)
Another great thing. Is i found the BEST inspiration.
this may sound weird, but theres this girl who used to be on livejournal,
and she looks just like me, but thinner. And i really dont get it, i mean, of all the pics ive seen of her for the past 7 yrs, she is always tiny. And it doesnt seem like she diets. but what do i know...
Anyhow, this girl is so symbolic to me because not only does she look like me, and is thinner, but she is also like the fucking coolest person in every &#$& way.
I mean every way.
She's thin.
She's so cute.
She's so unbelievably fashionable, but original.
she's creative.
Has so many friends.
the list goes on.
its flabergasting how fucking perfect she is, she's like me, but a better version.
And because of this.
SHE'S THE BEST MOTIVAION/INSPIRATION EVAAAAAAR.
Im so motivated right now,
and i got results today.
and maybe
just maybe i will make it to 105 again, my golden number.
over and out |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2008|03:57 pm] |
ok
so im going on a diet
that will consist of a lot of fruit like
apples
bananas
pinenuts
tofu grilled
hummus
beans
oatmeal
i really have to get on track
plus lots of miso soup |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 18th, 2008|08:01 pm] |
breakfast:
egg benedictine 450 cal
2 coffees
vodka/boris: 200
poutine/chicken filets: 1000
purged: 500-600
tot: 1100 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2006|06:54 am] |
Deep at the centre of my being,
there is an infinite well of love.
I now allow this love to flow to the surface.
It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness,
my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions
and returns to me mutliplied.
The more love I use and give, the more I have to give.
The supply is endless.
The use of love makes me feel good,
it is an expression of my inner joy. I love myself;
therefore, I take loving care of my body.
I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages,
I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly
responds to me with vibrant health and energy.
I love myself; therefore provide for myself
a comfortable home, one that fills
all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.
I fill the rooms with the vibration of love
so that all who enter, myself included,
will feel this love and be nourished by it.
I love myself; therefore I work at a job I truly enjoy
doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities,
working with and for people I love and who lovem me,
and earning a good income.
I love myself; therefore, I behave and think in a loving
way to all people for I know that that which I give out
returns to me multiplied.
I only attract loving people in my world,
for they are a mirror of what I am.
I love myself; therefore I forgive and totally release
the past and all past experiences and I am free.
I love myself; therefore I live totally in the now,
experiencing each moment as good and knowing that
my future is bright and joyous and secure,
for I am a beloved child of the Universe
and the Universe lovingly takes care of me
now and forever more.
And so it is. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 24th, 2006|09:46 pm] |
POTHEAD!
Depravities | | You are a POTHEAD. Good for you! GET STONED. |  |
My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 95% on Addicted |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|11:41 am] |
Ask the 25-year-old who tried to electrocute himself. He lived. But both his arms are gone.
What about jumping? Ask John. He used to be intelligent, with an engaging sense of humor. That was before he leaped from a building. Now, he's brain-damaged and will always need care. He staggers and has seizures. He lives in a fog. But, worst of all, he KNOWS he used to be normal.
What about pills? Ask the 12-year-old with extensive liver damage from an overdose. Have you ever seen anyone die of liver damage? You turn yellow. It's a hard way to go.
What about a gun? Ask the 24-year-old who shot himself in the head. Now he drags one leg, has a useless arm and has no vision or hearing on one side. He lived through his "foolproof" suicide. You might too.
But ... who will clean your blood off the carpet or scrape your brains from the ceiling? Commercial cleaning companies may refuse that job--but SOMEONE has to do it.
Who will have to cut you down from where you hung yourself or identify your bloated body after you've drowned? Your father? Your mother? Your wife? Your son?
The carefully worded "loving" suicide note is of no help. Those who loved you will NEVER completely recover. They'll feel regret and an unending pain.
Suicide is contagious. Look around your family. Look closely at the 4 year old playing with his cars on the rug. Kill yourself tonight, and he may do it ten years from now.
You DO have other choices. There are people who can help you through this crisis. Call a hotline. Call a friend. Call a family member. Call your minister or priest. Call a doctor or hospital. Call the police. They will tell you that there's hope. Maybe you'll find it in the mail tomorrow. Or in a phone call this weekend. But what you're seeking could be just a minute, a month, or a day away.
You say you don't want to be stopped? Still want to do it? -Well, then, I may see you in the psychiatric ward later. And we'll work with whatever you have left.
Remember: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 19th, 2005|12:49 pm] |
oh yea and i'm happy these days
its summer
everything is so light |
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